Young at a dying age-{Whispers aloud} I am the wind wishing I could hold up a chainsaw

2007-01-20T04:25:00.000-08:00

This is a public announcement service, my name is Gerald Sim, and I am here to have a super long post added to my super dead blog. haha. why is my font so bold. okay. nevermind that. hmm so many things have happent since I last blogged... most of them I've forgotten. (: but, lets start from the beggining of it all. way before man walked the earth, there was me. and my family. and the whole world. and, we were all at bangkok. other then the rest of the world who were not at bangkok. haha. okok. no more crap from me. bangkok was fun. it was better than a pile of crap! woo(: so on the first day, we went shopping, and bought lots of cool stuff. it was really good cause no one there could speak to me. so I didnt understand them! =P I was so elated! so guys, take note: I just hate people I'm not familiar with. haha. I'm just kidding. I'm okay with ppl as long as they dont offend me in anyway. but most do though. I'm lucky the people I know arent like that. anw, moving on to the next big event. As you all have probably heard from some anonymous freak who must have hacked into my blog aka. Angeline, my com freaking broke down on me. one week of holidays without a damn com... So dreary. next big thing... hmm. christmas. This yrs christmas= Much better than last year's. I felt so much better being able to relax despite having all my problems beating on the back of my head ( Maybe on the front too.) okay. so next big thing. The new school year. Terrible. okay not that bad. terrible in a sense that I cant get myself to focus on my studies. I want to. but I dont feel like it. on the other hand, chinese b has been fabulous! lol. hmm. church has been good, L has been L(Fill this part in yourself)ly, and my life has been miserable(: so I'm perfectly fine... haha. have a great life!
btw I'm joking bout the angeline thing. she's a nice girl. lol(:
God Bless you

2006-12-20T03:19:00.000-08:00

Yo people! Angeline here :p:p
Gerald can't use his computer because (he says) of the thurderstorm , lol.

It's raining right now.
He went to Thailand on saturday & he's finally back. Lol :)

I'm talking to him now , haha. Damn emo freak lah him. Keep singing this damn stupid song , dont know what's it called. Stupid Idiot.

2006-11-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

I feel dead. right now. lucky I'm quitting my job next tuesday.. cant stand it. havent gone out to have fun for like.. ever... damn.. I went to the choir concert today. some cool dude went really off pitch, and I am now his biggest fan. These few days have been the most boring days of my life. confined to a prison of metal and rotten seafood. Just sucks. Shan't blog much today. more tomorrow. promise. If you guys tag more I will(: lol.. Working on my new song choking on a silver spoon. its like. about how God's love is better than all the riches the world has to offer.. haha. anyway, I'm off now. bye

heartXcore

2006-11-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

okay.. wth? blogger beta is the same? or is it different. These few days have been boring. working at cosmos pearls really gets me worked up. It's like everyone asks the same questions. we give them 1 free pearl for 20 dollars in a reciept. some of them ask if the pearls are edible in chinese and it sounds freaking stupid. the first time I heard someone ask the question I was loling thinking the person was one of a kind. stupid or something. but when everyone asked it I felt really sick. There were also cases which were enjoyable... like when this women comes up to me and says she wants big ones.. Then she laughs cause she repeats wo yao da li de wo yao da li de. and then thinks in a pervert context... haha. okay. its late. I'm done. sorry christian. shortest post ever(:
*************************0***************0***********0******************************
pearls/\/\ lol
I hope to God that you'd come down
I hope to God that you'd feel this now
I hope to God that you'd come down
I hope to...
GOD.
heartXcore. bringing on the juices=p

2006-11-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like screaming. I can. It's day. They're outside of my window painting the damn building hahs... lol. Been doing alot these few days Jeriel must have been shocked that so many things happened to me and yong bin when he was scaling the great wall(: haha. hope he had fun.. my holiday's gonna be like... 20 days away.. I can't wait that long. must get away from the blowing trumpets and wailing sirens that blast into my ears everyday telling me to do stuff. SHUT UP and buzz off.. The guy outside wants to come inside my house and oil the freaking grills and I'm like wth? he's speaking chinese. why would you speak chinese to me?? I don't even know the language. haha. Anyway, I got a job... 5 per hour plus 1.8% commission selling accessories for a pair of free pearls which cost about 100... good(: haha. come find me at albert complex OG.. haha. starting this monday. wish me luck(: shan't type too much. I learnt my lesson.

God bless,
Gerald Sim Jia Le
Your weekly dose of the heartXcore club(:

2006-11-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

I feel like screaming. I can't. It's night. They're sleeping. Okay.. anyway I'm pretty tired so I think I'll be sleeping right after this. I'm gonna be dying my hair gold and at the same time cut the back of my hair thin so that I can spike it up. Hope I don't look stupid. Btw I haven't bathed yet. what a sucker man. I still feel clean though. I only went out for guitar lesson just now so. yea... Great band... http://www.myspace.com/blessthefall I get to promote them now that I'm a part of their street team. Those dudes are freaking cool... Read their blogs. you'll know what I mean(: haha. Hmm... this week has been quite a good week for me... except for Friday when I woke up at 1210 and didnt go to school. It was absolutely boring. NO. I mean Absolutely. It was like 4 hours of my life just floating by till Ruben came. that crazy dude really got the party going.. even when there wasn't any party.. lol. Okay... for dudes out there, emo does not express an emotional being. emo is a state of mind where a person tends to pretend to be more emotional and sensitive thinking it is cool when it isn't. Emo is also a type of music. I am not freaking emo... I hate when people say that. I especially hate when people call someone else a gay for making his own decisions... you don't class a person according to character okay. damn it. A person's own decision is always best and if you want to influence him not to do that, give him something good to work upon. otherwise, keep your mouth shut and walk on by... I'm freaking gonna buy a vodoo doll. You know how people use it as an object of hate, and they vent their anger on it as a cult... haha. I will be different(: I'm gonna treat the doll with love and tender care as a practise for man to realise that the world doesn't just have to revolve around your hate and anger, but it is centered on love and the beauty that is life. you may think I'm weird or eccentric or what ever you call it, but that's just how I do things... And I love it...

(Okay I promised I'd post something here yesterday)
Mum, I need a crowbar
verse
(Watch me drink this cup Of Sweet Bitterness)
land me faced down, as I swallow my pride
(Forget MemorRies And True HistoRy)
and move onto business with eyes on my bent back

Pre Chorus
It's simpler this way, live and let live.
(With eyes Facing The Front... With minds Like The Matured.)
Who lived before us, were just like us
(They've changed Can't you see. Ripe Brains A Novalty.)

Chorus
(Mum could you help me take)
this crowbar from the edge and hit me on the back of my head
(So I'd Forget The Past)
And live with disregard for anything till I'm at piece

verse2
(You Ripped My Heart Out. You Tore My Eyes Out.)
And I Love you but I Have to do this, so run
(Against your own Will. I'll Try my Best to.)
Stop these hands as long as I could or could try

Bridge
(Watch me drink this cup Of Sweet Bitterness)
(You Ripped My Heart Out. You Tore My Eyes Out)

And another chorus and it ends. It pretty much sucks cause I had to do it under last minutes notice. I'd probably rewrite the whole thing and make it really epic and godly(:
Okay... I've done my part. won't you do yours? lol. haha

Btw, Kristin Kreuk(Lana from smallville) is damn hot =p haha...
God bless, sweet dreams...
with love,
heartXcore to make your day(: haha...

2006-11-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

Trying to get my band a new name. Tell me what you think of "Frailty, Thy Name Is Woman" or "First And Foremost". I don't really know which one to choose. I think the first one is better, but Jeriel says it's too long.

Okay. My week really sucked because I had to go to school. Even if I didn't I would still hate my week though. I have a really stupid ncc training tomorrow which I have to go to even with a cold. I think I'm going to sleep earlier today. Like around 11:30.

I'm too stoned to think of anything now so here's the lyrics to an Underoath song.
"There Could Be Nothing After This"

In the end we tend to think of how it began
I could never explain the picture painted, and how it made me feel
Now the ceiling is in motion
The light centered and overlooked
You want to see me disappear?
Well, so do I

Such a quiet evaporation

We're nothing but hollow vessels in search of what makes us alive
I never said this was my revolution when you looked me in the eye
Oh, how I've walked in this white line so many times before
What a feeble attempt just to feel alive

This is for you and your hopeless case
You never would leave me in your wish to fail everytime
Everytime I try

So talk about it
At least it makes you feel something inside

Who have I become
Oh God, everthing around me all around me is crumbling at my feet

I stare so delicate and ashamed
At the shell I've shed myself from

In the eyes of my ghost
and I will never look back again

(: I love this song and the best thing is: IT'S NOT EMO.
I'M NOT EMO. I'm just emotional. Emotionally STABLE.

heartXcore! God bless...

2006-11-05T10:19:00.000-08:00

yea... today was awesome. I left the house with 3 dollars, and went for guitar lessons. After which I got to see a band play without having to pay a cent. Later, I managed to get dinner at the food centre at thompson plaza surviving with just 3 dollars (I'm gonna put the picture on my friendster page instead because my com sucks. go check it out. It's pretty cool man). Finally, left with a light wallet, I decided to... eat ice cream at swensens!!! hahaha... tht was so good. I never felt so free in my entire life. Thanks to the dudes from church(: hahs. I don't feel inspired at all today.. but,

Dear Son,
We sat there in the ruins, feet planted against the foot of this unfinished wall. Beautiful was the sight of the birds and trees that stared down menacingly with a grim of delight. The blue sky turning green from underneath us with the heated arguement going on between your consience and me. Before I managed to utter a word, you got up and SCREAMED INTO MY FACE as if I couldn't hear you. I watched you walk away from me with the grace that I had always known as floods of red and black seeped into my inner body, to the core of it all. I walked and stood there beside you watching as you took out your cold piece of heart with a portrait of home and me. "Father, where are you?" you exclaimed. If you would lift up your head from your hands and notice the light that surrounds you.

Hah... I seriously think this sucks, but I don't have any inspiration and it's late you know? try to be understanding. lol. This is for all the people who have lost hope in something(:

Amen.
God bless...

2006-11-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

So I just bought the new underoath cd.. great stuff. I love it so much. Thank God for good music. haha. I feel so re-energized. so inspired. so much desire. I hope my band can live up to the standard.

Brothers, let us ascend the throne with hope in our eyes. We are dying for this cause, and we are dying. In glory. basking in the light of the father. As we walk these steps, The ones with mysterious faces and darkened eyes will see us and be enveloped in sight SO MUCH LIGHT that they will shut their newly opened eyes in fear of the array of the sounds of the blowing trumpets of the multitudes of angels that wander this passageway. WE WILL FOLLOW they cry as they put on their battle gowns.

Lord, Hold me tight onto the ground so I will not be swayed. Purify me with flowing rivers of beauty and peace as I go out into the world with this broken heart and demented mind that strives irregardless for success. Help me find comfort as I go out into this run down place. Grant me success in my hopes and a way out of every fearful solution.

A passion burns deep within me. A flame that could plague the average human alive. distress comes a great load in me with the hope of seeing this ever defining and changing situation that only seems to be getting worse groom up strong warriors. I live for this.
love, your son Gerald. a child of God. <3Xcore music in the name of Jesus.

world... no matter what shape or size my people come in, the unexpected will hit you hard. Bury Your Head in your hands...

2006-11-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

Blogs are depressing(: the last blog I read made me want to explode at the next person I see. Lucky for the world it is officially night even though the sun has not set beyond the window, and everyone has gone to sleep not aware of the trouble amidst us. As they sleep, a couple is getting divorced, many people have died including the one I just met in the back of my head somewhere, and someone out there is commiserating on suicide. I stay awake while the sun is still up in support of these people. Even though my contribution is not alot, I know how a difference can still be made.

I went to school today.
I got back my phone from angeline.
I went for lunch.
I did school service.
I went home.
I played the guitar.
I ate dinner.
I watched the black box.
I used the computer.

No inspiration for my deep dark words today. damn it. buzz off(:

2006-10-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

I've decided. I've decided. I 've decided. I shall blog again and relive my horrible childhood. A wonderland of hopes and dreams that flutter into my eyes.

If you could just come up to me with a knife to your throat and blood to your gown, crying with bloodshot eyes as I stare nervously at the ceiling. What a beautiful sight that would be. So my aspiration in this new blog is to be dead poetic... (: So dead poetic that you could die smiling in their sleep while the rest remain drowning. I would save you from the world and bring you to the safe place I have found on the cradle of a child where the moonlight sets into your eyes. Before this, I'd envelope you in my disguised world of phoney truths and overdone lines. Now instead of being cliche and destroying myself along the way, I'd kill you slowly instead so Pain eats you up and you choke upon Death herself with her finger into your throat and a hole through your bitter heart.

<3 STAB YOU IN THE DARK AND HOPE YOUR FRAIL BACK FALLS APART IN THE MIDST OF THE SILENCE AND SOLITUDE<3

2005-12-18T07:42:00.000-08:00

//The Night She Cried the Heartache//
Her knives crossed my hand,
and like a snakebite, stuck a mark.
The poison leaking from her skin,
it slices through my flesh.

Her burning eyes they speak,
Of a bloody romance fought to the last breath.

So don't look... At all I have...
Just inkspills... And torments that pierce...
My burnt lips... This over bitten tongue...
But don't leave... My frozen heart to dry...
In this blood drenched sky...

Just to know I live,
I pinched myself and tried to feel my pain.
But little did I know,
The sacrifice would kill me.

Her burning eyes they speak,
Of a bloody romance fought to the last breath.

So don't look... At all I have...
Just inkspills... And torments that pierce...
My burnt lips... This over bitten tongue...
But don't leave... My frozen heart to dry...
In this blood drenched sky...

Just like how you paid the price,
just to fix my broken nails,
I'm torn apart mentally,
by the stones she throw in her sleep.

So don't look... At all I have...
Just inkspills... And torments that pierce...
My burnt lips... This over bitten tongue...
But don't leave... My frozen heart to dry...
So tomorrow will come by...